The interview was taken by the collaborator of tomov.gr in Ankara, Ayse Yasar
Amman, the capital of Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, is the city where I met Enas. We have been together during a conference related to forced/early marriage and I spotted her passion through the speeches she has given about inheritance, family, civil status law and its implementations regarding to customary practices and its obstacles. While exchanging experiences about the current situation of women and children of both in Jordan and Turkey, I found it quite interesting what she had to say.
Jordan has a combined legal system mostly depending on Islamic Law status due to dominant Muslim population in Jordan where Abu Hanafi’s doctrine, which is known as the most progressive law school among Sunni law doctrines’, is applied. Therefore, institutionalized law practices within specialized courts and some flexible civil contracts are applied on the national courts.
The conversation with Enas has reminded me a variety of inherited women rights issues in Turkey starting from my grandmothers’ era to my own time. Unresolved disputes followed a generation to another. She was wearing a white scarf and it also triggered a memory in me related to the early feminist wave emerging in Ottoman Empire in 19th century when various women magazines had targeted literate women population of the country about the women’s issues as well as policies of the state regarding voting rights, education and domestic labor. ‘White Conferences’ series had been assembled in Istanbul by symbolically all white clothed women, where political discussions about women liberation, labor rights and a new free world ideas are formed and deliberated over. It was led by the famous Ottoman feminist Fatma Nesibe.
In 1924, Nezihe Muhiddin, founder of Turkish Women Union, gave a speech during the conference of the union saying: “We do not aim to forsake the women with sole charity works alone. The aim is to give her all the duties and rights of a citizen.”
I thought that Enas had a certain message as an experienced legal advisor on women’s issues regarding domestic violence, sexual offenses and related complex violations. She has been working with both Iraqi and Syrian refugees as well as housewives of Jordan since 1999, and she is familiar with universal child rights framework and its progress/advance as well.
Welcome Ayse. I am glad to be with you and to be interviewed.
1. I would like you to introduce and describe the sphere of the work and your lead on the organization.
My name is Enas Adel Dourghan. I work in a nongovernmental civil society organization called family guidance and awareness center. It is one of the centers for society regarding housewives’ founded in 1982. The center cares about all the aspects of the family. The mission and the vision are to improve the life of the family so that they can have a better life. This of course includes many aspects. One of them is to provide guidance services, health and psychosocial guidance in addition to the legal one, provide help to job-seekers, working with younger people in critical ages in addition to dealing with children and especially and currently with Syrian refugees’ and children. Before that, we worked with Iraqi children and with their families.
The nature of my work is that I am a legal adviser. My job is to receive all the cases that come to the center and to ask about the benefit of legal advice for them. I also work on the programs of elimination of the domestic violence. I receive the cases of abused women and children as well.
In addition to holding and organizing many workshops and seminars on raising awareness regarding the legal aid in order to work on what is the legal literacy. We also work on the programs of psychosocial support for the Jordanians as well as Iraqi and Syrian families as refugees.
2. What is your main motivation regarding your work responsibilities?
Finding a better life for women. This means empower, care and raising awareness. Clearing the ambiguity around the image of the women while listening the burdens of these women and making their voice heard.
3. How would you characterize Jordanian women? How would be a typical day of them?
There are two categorizes: the working women and also the women as housewife. Both of these women wake up early, take care of their children and make sure they go to school. She also takes care of her husbands’ needs before he goes to work.
If she is a working woman, she would go to work afterwards. After coming from work, she will continue performing as mother and as housewife, private teacher for her children, wife for her husband including listening all the problems of her husband and she bears all the pressure he can apply to her. Then she continues with household issues if she doesn’t have a maid to help her. So just imagine how many roles working women do in Jordan.
The housewives are also asked the same things, same duties and errands are expected except working in a certain job.
4. Regarding to your experience on the field what would be the main/important situation/ problem/ practice came to your attention on the field of your work and studies? And what kind of counseling do you give them in general?
Most of the women I used to see, especially at the beginning of my work at the center (I started in 1999 which were the first days on my work) were abused women. The first thing they were saying when I took them on the room for the advice, is that “I want a divorce and I want to file a lawsuit”. Almost all of the women thought that divorce is the only solution for the problems they have in their marriages.
So as a lawyer, when she used to come into my office saying all these things I used to calm her down, ask her to think clearly in order to find solutions, meaning alternative solutions.
I and other colleagues who were specialized on those cases, we were provided with specialized trainings and guidance studies about the case before we judge in it.
So I used to study with that woman all of the aspects of the situation: her conditions, what are the remedies of the divorce, waving all of the options for her. I never dictated the solution on them. I always said: “I am not Moses and I don’t have the stick to change things magically. When you go home you won’t find everything solved.” So, that will usually relieve the women and they start to tell me about their burdens and their worries. They would open up and start to talk about the violence they are under of their husbands, the in-laws and on some cases their sons and daughters.
Then go back after talking all of these aspects and I ask her one more time: “So you come to my office wanting a divorce, do you still desire the divorce? Do you still want me to bring that option and also start with a lawsuit?” She usually would say, “Please don’t do that, maybe I misunderstood most of the situation. Do not do that. Maybe I just need to open up and out what is going on with me because I have no one to talk to and no one was hearing what I was saying. Now the things are different.”
Of course, we take into consideration that option if no physical violence, bruises, harm or risk of life. If she doesn’t want a divorce or no risk of life exists neither on her nor on her children, then I used to bring on her psychosocial support option with her permission.
We used to encourage these women to attend programs related to raising self-esteem and self- appreciation for dealing with the problems. We used to follow up these women six to eight months and after the graduation let’s say, from these programs, they used to say that they feel like a new women and a new person who see their problems differently. Even the style of women after these programs totally changes. We take before-after pictures so the difference would be clear.
I generally focus on that point, to women who is not empowered, especially to marginalized women. They need someone to guide them in order to understand what is going on with them.
On other cases where the risk is clear, and there is no way to solve the problem without immediate intervention, the way of dealing with it would be totally different. Usually, on these very dangerous cases, some of the women would come and say: “If I go home, I will die.”
At that point, we used to network with all of the support organizations in order to seek for organizations which has participatory approach with them. For instance, we call the center of the governorate or family protection department of the administration. We also contact with other consulate organizations and shelter homes. All of the networking would start with active risk. And of course we take consent from the women; she would clearly state that she is in severe danger, because we work on referral. We want to know where to refer her and follow up with her. We should know where she arrives, what is up with her.
We have clear instructions from law and judges and they are very binding. We should never close up a case, otherwise there would be problems.
5. Could you give an insight and exemplary good implemented case for the readers regarding the refugee crisis in your country?
Last year, I worked on a psychosocial support program of three years with an international fund. I saw many cases; however I remember one particular case. Because I loved her and I became friends with her family.
The lady was at the beginning of her thirties. She has nine kids. Now she is thirty seven. They live in a very small house. It has two very small rooms, a little corridor/a semi-kitchen and a very small bathroom with suspicious health conditions. Her father in-law also lives with them. She has five of her children dropped out of school. Her husband doesn’t work in Jordan. Three of her children are traumatized.They have so many problems after the war. Execrated fear led the children to physiological issues that prevent them to talking with people. If anyone rings the bell they hide. They imagine that these are sounds of choppers’ voices. They were crying and saying two words and crying again.
We started being very friendly and sympathetic with them just to make them feel safe and open up. We had a psychosocial support intervention. We took the names of the drop out children and we called the directorate of the education immediately. We made them to join the school again. Three of them are officially back in school however two of them are above the legal age so, until now, there are debates back and forth regarding their rejoining to school. Now, we are demanding vocational trainings from the directorate for them to have any vocational practice that will be also in line what they need. We include them into youth programs.
We priory took into consideration children’s medical problems. They are examined by a medical doctor who works with us in the center. They also started a rehabilitation program for victims and benefited psychosocial welfare program that is ran in Jordan by international funds. The difference and change of those kids are qualitative into nearly three months. It was a qualitative turn of events. Because they used to sit on the corners while youth peer inclusion program is ran, we used to do whatever we could and we couldbarely take a world out of them. Two months and an half, they started to hug the teachers. And when I came into the room, they would hug me. They used to pick flowers and bring me. The oldest child which is eight years old now, is totally healed. She goes to school and she started to build stronger personality.
When they came after the war, we used to ask them about their country. They would be devastated when describing it. “Our country is lost and it’ll never come back again.” Now their expression has changed. They are very hopeful that their country will come back and Syria will be just like before. They hope to go back to their toys and lives.
This is one of the most successful Syrian refugee case that I was around the time until it was treated. I didn’t break this connection for a whole year. (Her own comment: peacefully and very nicely.)
6. One last question. What is your personal goal?
Any person with a goal will definitely have a message.1
My message is to people to be all right without arrogance. I have a big belief that everyone can do something. No one is incapable. If you cannot do something with the power of mind or if you cannot influence decision making process, then you can do some through your activity and your being active. Implementing whatever strong minds come up with. And correct the mistakes that exist.
I give a good facial expression through my smile and reflect my radiance with positivity when I cannot do these. I also believe that thinking and applying, is a mental work, too. Because I believe that slightest things can cause change in people’s life.
My message is that as much as it can be, to have and find a way with line with what you do and not to save that effort for others.
Thank you for your valuable time and the conversation.
Special Note: Enas wanted to honor her mother Seham.M.Momani who has been a special guide, thinker and enlightener in her life, always in valuable memories.
Reported by Ayse Yasar April 19,2017
Simultaneous translation from Arabic to English by Kawther Al- Aqrabawi
Portrait picture of Enas Adel Dourghan by Christine Daya